Note To Self: You Gotta Do This For You

These past couple months have come and gone and Foxx and I will be together for 3 months starting August 1, 2016. There have been ups and downs and our lives haven't really been able to settle down. He had to move back to his hometown because his father ended up getting super sick and needed to be there for him. My family doesn't approve of him, but it is what it is. He makes me happy.

On August 8, 2016, I will also be moving up there with him and his parents. There is just way too much negativity down here and it's weighing me down and I am lectured everyday by family. I'm just really tired of people thinking their thoughts and opinions drilled into me day after day is going to change my mind.

Foxx and I's relationship has made me think a lot about the way I want to be treated and how I want to live my life. I'd never realized that certain family members that have huge roles in my life are also toxic to my mental and emotional well-being. They have been for a long time and I'm certainly not going to entertain that kind of treatment anymore. I no longer want to be scared or ashamed to be myself.

Today, amongst everything that has been going on, started fine but ended up kind of...ugly? My family has been tearing me down in the fact that I want to be with Foxx. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. One that Foxx has ridden with me and has said nothing to any members that have caused me this pain. Well, he finally broke and exploded on Facebook. This is the exact post that was written by Foxx:

"Anyone who has a problem with me or my relationship with

Ren how about you have some courage and say it to me!!

Not talk like little bitches behind my back!!

Oh...I forgot...you're all Christians...

Hypocritical, self deceptive, closed minded, judgmental, unaccepting, fear-filled Christians..

Yet I'M the evil one..

Lmao..

None of you know a single damn thing about my life or what I've been through..

So with all the kindness and love in the world...

Go fuck yourselves.

Hard. "

While this was really immature on his part and he didn't quite get his point across, I understand that he was angry and is hurting with how cruel some people in my family is being. I deleted the post and talked to him about it but the damage was already done. My sister (who I am extremely displeased with at the moment) screenshotted the message and sent it to various members of my family. Now, I am dealing with that bullshit.

One of the only members of my family who actually supported my relationship has now recanted their support because of this post. Foxx and I had a stern talking and in the end resulted in him not posting anything on Facebook on my timeline unless I have read what he has said and I have given him consent to post. I actually hate drama. Despise it. I never have drama on Facebook or have drama come into my real life from Facebook and it is not okay that it became that way. He agreed to these conditions so that conversation was done.

I can't wait until these couple weeks are over and done with. I'm tired of my family being an issue where they shouldn't be. Fortunately, Foxx and I have a really healthy relationship despite our hardships. I can't wait to finally be able to breathe.

Until next time,

Ren.